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39 TV Shows That Helped People Bond With Their Moms

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Moms are so great.

Stranger Things

Stranger Things

"I live in Japan and my mom lives in America. We're both fraidy-cats, so we can't watch scary things alone. We decided to watch Stranger Things at the same time while we talked on the phone. I'm trying to decide if I should just fly home for the second season or tough it out over the phone again." —Diamond Campbell, Facebook

Netflix

ER

ER

"When I was little, my mom traveled for work a lot, and every Thursday night I'd try to stay up until she came home. I'd wake up to hearing the garage door close, and she'd come into the living room. We'd quietly watch ER and whisper about our weeks and I'd fall back asleep with my head in her lap." —Rose Hedberg, Facebook

Getty Images / Hulton Archive / Warner Bros. Television Distribution

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead

"When I first started watching it, my mom was sure that she would be too uncomfortable with the violence. But now she gets mad if I even think about watching without her." —etticooper

AMC


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If You Fail This Quiz, We're Revoking Your Netflix Subscription

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Genius level: We give you the city, you tell us the show.

Can You Pass This "Buffy" Demon Quiz?

21 Heartbreaking TV And Movie Deaths You're Probably Still Not Over

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WARNING: This post contains a bunch of spoilers and intense emotions. Obviously.

Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"Why Fred? Why a twin? It hurts so much to imagine George in that scene, hoping that his twin was still alive. Imagine the Weasleys at the Burrow, mourning over Fred. Picture George staring at Fred's empty bed trying to imagine Fred laying there. It breaks my heart every time I read or watch this death. I still cry today. Some deaths you just can't get over, and Fred's is one of them." – abucketihave

Warner Bros. / holey-george.tumblr.com

Poussey Washington, Orange is the New Black

Poussey Washington, Orange is the New Black

"It wasn't just the fact that the most beautiful, amazing character on the show – and half of the show's cutest couple – died, it was how. Watching it happen, slowly, knowing the circumstances...I feel sad thinking about it. I cried so hard about it I got dehydrated." – Nicky9

Netflix / siamomareintempesta.tumblr.com

Ellie Fredricksen, Up

Ellie Fredricksen, Up

"I thought the whole montage in the beginning was sweet then the tears hit me like a ton of bricks when it showed her dying. Not to mention that she was told she couldn't have kids." – maddysonh

Walt Disney Pictures / animations-daily.tumblr.com


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Choose A TV Character, And We’ll Guess Why You’re Single

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You’re the one that I want…right?

This Is What Summer Looked Like 20 Years Ago

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It was the summer that gave us Harry Potter, Netflix, and hope about the new Stars Wars film.

The Spice Girls were one of the biggest acts in the world and appeared on their iconic Rolling Stone cover.

The Spice Girls were one of the biggest acts in the world and appeared on their iconic Rolling Stone cover.

They also had a huge summer hit with their song "Say You'll Be There."

Rolling Stone Magazine

Having the internet meant you were using dial-up and, also, you were most likely using AOL.

Having the internet meant you were using dial-up and, also, you were most likely using AOL.

At the time only 18% of US households had internet in their homes.

jaygeiger.com

Speaking of AOL, the summer of '97 was when the company launched its iconic AIM.

Speaking of AOL, the summer of '97 was when the company launched its iconic AIM.

tokyopc.org

Friends wrapped up its third season with "The One at the Beach."

Friends wrapped up its third season with "The One at the Beach."

The show was one of the main anchors of NBC's "Must-See TV," alongside Seinfeld and E.R. The Single Guy and Suddenly Susan were also part of the block.

Warner Bros. Television


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How Indie Movies And Fanfic Helped Me Learn How To Be A Lesbian

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One of the worst Sundays of my life was in 1999. I was 14, so my low spirits that morning had nothing to do with a hangover — at least not the alcohol-related kind. I often woke up with this sense of gloom. Later that day, as she did most weekends, my mother took me to a video store so we could rent anything I wanted to watch. I loved the ritual of going there to look for a story that would be about me, something that would speak to me about myself.

I had kept myself from asking why kissing boys didn’t feel the same way for me as it felt for Christina Ricci in Now and Then, even though I was so much like her otherwise.

When you know something inside you doesn’t agree with the world around you, fiction becomes the straw you grasp at to try to understand why — and to understand yourself. Until that Sunday, my lifesavers had been female characters who were mainstream, but closer to the margins of the norm: Princess Leia leading the rebels in a galaxy far, far away, or Geena Davis as Morgan Adams at the helm of a pirate ship in Cutthroat Island. Both lived through a thousand adventures and wielded their own swords against anyone who tried to keep them from following their dreams. Then there was Mary Stuart Masterson in Fried Green Tomatoes, acting like a boy, and later like a man. Her ~friendship~ with Mary-Louise Parker sparked an intense curiosity in me, since it showed a relationship that came quite close to representing my deepest desires.

It was during that Sunday visit to the video store that Hilary Swank, the essential tomboy, with her short hair and pronounced jawline, called to me from the sepia-tinted cover of Boys Don’t Cry. She chose me. I handed the box to my mother, who took it to the cashier, and we went home.

That night my parents went out, and sitting on our couch, I experienced one of the most excruciating instances of hopelessness in my life. I cried for two hours after the credits rolled, and I didn’t have the slightest idea where all my sadness was coming from. This story of a transgender man, filmed in harsh, artificial light, was not, strictly speaking, about me. For years I had been completely shutting out the part of my life that was touched by that movie, just as I had kept myself from asking why kissing boys didn’t feel the same way for me as it felt for Christina Ricci in Now and Then, even though I was so much like her otherwise.

Marcos Chamizo/BuzzFeed

It was then, in my mid-teens, that my existential lifesavers began to deflate at an ever-increasing pace. Indie movies linked being anything other than cisgender and straight with violent death. The socially acceptable models of funny gay people I saw on TV — flawed and stereotyped as they were — were always male. I did not know how to swim in the world as I was; someone had to teach me, and the simple act of staying afloat was beginning to turn into draining work.

I was raised, more or less successfully, to behave like a girl as our society defines it. I learned how boys were supposed to act by watching my older brother. But what happens when you grow out of that pink and blue segregated childhood, and into the age where people expect you to be interested in the opposite sex? What do you do when inside your head, in your dreams, in the imaginary pictures you make up before you go to sleep, happiness means holding hands with or kissing another girl? If nobody else did this, not the people around me or the characters in the books I read, and if my Sunday movies never ended the way my fantasies did, then something must have been wrong. I must have been secretly flawed in some way, though nobody knew it.

Indie movies linked being anything other than cisgender and straight with violent death.

Let’s agree that being a teenager isn’t easy for anyone, not even Regina George or Taylor Swift. But for typical white, heterosexual, Western 15-year-olds, there are manuals and models on every corner. They can turn to fiction to broaden their horizons, or simply construct their identities using everything they see around them, building from the outside in. And if everything goes according to plan, they may later decide to try the process in reverse, questioning the validity of all they’ve been taught to believe. But when you have no cultural images to relate to — and certainly no positive ones — loneliness and agony prevent you from constructing a self. The only option is thrashing around to keep yourself from drowning.

Anesthetized by my teenage habit of avoiding my own feelings, I searched for models of queer life in the only places I knew. Without an internet connection, this meant the library or the video store. Usually the result was the same: tragedy, like in Lost and Delirious, and the death of Willow’s girlfriend Tara in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which even magic couldn’t prevent. Most gay characters, and TV hosts, looked like caricatures, and they were almost always men. The more flamboyant they were, the less seriously they were treated; sometimes they were even made to look like buffoons.

Was it always going to be that way? Would I be condemned to a sterile existence, never able to live my own life in full color, pressed to escape from who I really was? Nobody put a hand on my shoulder or gave me the comforting hug that would say that everything was going to be all right, that I deserved as much happiness as everyone else.

Marcos Chamizo/BuzzFeed

Luckily, two years after I bawled over Boys Don’t Cry, things changed — and of course, that change came in the form of a movie. It was at the same video store, after the same search through the indie section, and with my mother again paying for the rental. Fucking Åmål — a film about a romantic relationship between two teen girls in small-town Sweden, released in the US as Show Me Love — showed me the light. Seeing characters just like me validated my identity and made me realize that what was happening to me in my small town might be happening to many others in many other places. And even though the road was tough, it had a happy ending. But the most important thing I learned from watching it was that if there was one story like that, there had to be more. Though nobody was sharing them with me, or maybe I was not able to find them, I was now certain that they existed.

My next gulp of air came at 17, at the precise moment my mother connected our house to the internet. Long before Facebook and Instagram, in 2002, there was Fotolog, a photo-sharing platform popular with Spanish speakers. There I found a true community through forums, YouTube links, and personal blogs populated by people much more courageous and daring than I was. The internet became as important to me as my everyday reality — it was my escape route, my oxygen tank. It provided perspective and gave me confidence that one day, the screen I was interacting with would turn into friends made of real flesh.

More than anything else, it was online fanfiction that helped me start truly cementing my present self. The genre draws ridicule to this day despite having generated such mainstream (and toxic) works as Fifty Shades of Grey. This kind of literature — and I wouldn’t think of calling it anything else — does exactly the same thing I did every night when I went to bed and conjured a world of my own, where I could let myself live on the margins of reality and what it had to offer me.

Fanfic transforms what exists into what its audience really needs to read.

Fanfic transforms what exists into what its audience really needs to read, letting readers look for identifying features, for guidance, and for doors that open up new places to explore and experience. Sometimes its authors continue stories that have already been written; other times they create crossovers between different series or transplant characters. As you might expect, my reading centered around the category of fanfiction known as “saffic,” which features lesbians as the main characters. Their sexual orientation may be already established, but if it isn’t, the magic of fiction makes them turn to sapphic love without a second thought. Reading these stories made me think, Hey, I want that! The feeling couldn’t have been more removed from my Sunday afternoon spent crying on the couch.

There was fanfic that mixed characters from video games, like Super Mario Bros. and Zelda, to cater to gamer types. And there was even fanfic with characters from Spain, where I lived. I remember the first time I read one of these stories — it was one of the incredible amount of fanfics written about Silvia and Pepa from Paco's Men, a series that I hadn’t watched and never would, even though I could re-enact any scene centered around the two of them. The geographical proximity of these lesbian characters to my own life was what, at last, brought me toward the reality that I had for some years already been experiencing.

As I grew older, I got out of the habit of reading fanfic. But sometimes I still think about looking up Camren stories, the fics that ship Camila Cabello and Lauren Jauregui from Fifth Harmony. Sometimes I linger over Instagram, looking through posts where fans have tagged the Spanish social media power couple Dulceida and Alba, inventing their own futures for them. I still remember the fanfics that turned Buffy and Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer into the hottest couple I had ever seen. Reading them enriched my experience with the series (which I am sure, though it put Willow and Tara together, could not have hinted at a lesbian relationship for the protagonist). There they were: two self-reliant teenagers, fearless leaders saving the world, with the sense of humor that I wanted and needed for myself. And on top of everything, they got it on and were very happy.

In 2016, at the age of 30, 17 years after my first dose of reality in Boys Don’t Cry, I saw a lesbian story with a happy ending on the big screen for the first time. Carol is an adaptation of The Price of Salt, a 1952 novel recognized as the first major queer work of fiction without a tragic ending, for which the author Patricia Highsmith received many letters of thanks. Sixty-four years after the book’s publication, the majority of society is ready to understand that stories don't have to be about male-female couples to be full of passion and inspiration. We are ready to realize that even though heterosexuality is the most common mode of existence, it is not the only one — and certainly not the only way of finding fulfillment as an individual or as a couple. We are ready to see that queer characters should not be caricatures or stereotypes of themselves. We are ready to understand that we need stories that celebrate diversity rather than stigmatizing it, because in small towns (and big cities) around the world, there are still people who are wary of pursuing real-life queer experiences for fear they will bring agonizing results.

What we owe queer young people is more visible, accessible, and normative spaces, more role models they can relate to — role models they can’t find in their schools, in their families, or among friends — to use as guides who can help them learn how to be themselves.

This post was translated from Spanish.

27 Sex Jokes You Missed While Watching "Buffy The Vampire Slayer"

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In fact, you probably missed 90% of the jokes in the series.

If you grew up in the '80s or '90s, chances are you watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

If you grew up in the '80s or '90s, chances are you watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The WB

But if you'd watched it when you were young, you probably missed a lot of sexual allusions.

But if you'd watched it when you were young, you probably missed a lot of sexual allusions.

The WB

For example, this monster looks a bit... familiar.

For example, this monster looks a bit... familiar.

The WB

Maybe you forgot about the scene where Anya decided to seduce Xander in her own way.

Maybe you forgot about the scene where Anya decided to seduce Xander in her own way.

The WB


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18 Things We Learned About "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" From The Cast

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As told by Alyson Hannigan and Tom Lenk!

Alyson is somewhat responsible for the Buffy theme song: She introduced Joss Whedon to Nerf Herder, the band who wrote the song.

Alyson is somewhat responsible for the Buffy theme song: She introduced Joss Whedon to Nerf Herder, the band who wrote the song.

"But I certainly wasn't smart enough to know that they could do the theme song," she told BuzzFeed.

Mutant Enemy Productions


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Which "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Character Are You Based On Your Random Preferences?

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If the apocalypse comes while you’re taking this quiz, we’ll beep you.

11 TV Show Fan Theories That Prove Everything Is Just A Dream

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Spoiler: It’s all of them. All of the shows.

Rugrats

Rugrats

This is probably one of the more well-known ~it was all a dream~ fan theories. It goes like this:

Angelica was a lonely child, neglected by her parents, and dreamed up the rest of the Rugrats to keep her company. But that's not the darkest part – the babies were all real at one point, they just tragically died. Chuckie died in a car accident, which explains his father's neurotic behaviour. Tommy was stillborn, which drove Stu to madness and is why he spends all of his time in the basement, making toys. Phil and Lil's mother had an abortion, and Angelica never knew the sex of the baby, so she invented identical twins, one male, and one female. Kimi was taken away by social services because her mother was a drug addict. The only real baby was Dil, which is why he was the only baby who didn't talk in the show.

Don't worry if you're totally horrified by this theory, though – the show's creator, Arlene Klasky, told BuzzFeed last year that it's definitely not true.

Nickelodeon

Friends

Friends

A couple of years ago, a Twitter user came up with a theory that said the entire plot of Friends was just a delusion of Phoebe's meth-addled mind. According to the theory, Phoebe is a homeless meth addict who sleeps on a bench in Central Park and watches the rest of the gang through the window of the coffee shop, imagining that she's a part of their perfect lives. Their names aren't Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, or Rachel at all – those are just the names Phoebe's imagined for them, and they also have completely different personalities.

The series would end with them walking past Phoebe on the street and referring to her as "the crazy lady who always stares at us". She then goes back to Central Park, where she falls asleep on a bench in front of the iconic fountain. It starts to rain, and she puts up six brightly-coloured umbrellas.

NBC

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead

In the grand tradition of zombie apocalypse stories, this one started with its central character waking up from a coma – so, of course, there's a fan theory claiming that Rick has been in the coma this whole time, and the apocalypse is all just a figment of his imagination. It all began when people on Reddit started questioning the claim that Rick would have survived in a coma for 46 days (after the apocalypse began and before he woke up) without water or general care.

Fans have speculated for years that the series will end with Rick either waking up from his coma or having his life support turned off with Lori, Carl, and Shane crying at his bedside – but this, too, has been debunked by the show's creator. So instead let's focus on the batshit theory that Rick "died" while he was in the coma but had already been infected by the virus – it affected him differently because he was in a coma, so Rick is, in fact, a conscious Walker.

AMC

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This one is all thanks to the season six episode "Normal Again". In it, Buffy is the victim of a demon who makes her believe she is confined to a mental institution and that all of her friends – and her status as the slayer – are imaginary. Fans have theorised that this episode alone shows Buffy in her true state, and the rest of the series is just in her head. In "reality", Buffy's mother is still alive and married to her father, Dawn doesn't exist and is actually just a figment of Buffy's imagination (which explains why she just appeared out of nowhere in season five), and her life as the slayer is simply an escapist delusion. The end of the episode sees Buffy "choose" the Sunnydale reality, therefore submitting to her delusion for good.

Joss Whedon, the show's creator, has agreed that this episode leaves the entire series up for interpretation, but personally doesn't subscribe to the theory, and thinks Buffy's life as the slayer was the "real" world.

The WB


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Which "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Girl Are You?

25 LGBT Characters On Television That Viewers Absolutely Love

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Television needs more LGBT characters, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some great people out there already.

Bill Potts (Pearl Mackie) in Doctor Who

Bill Potts (Pearl Mackie) in Doctor Who

"It's awesome to see a black gay woman who is just casually queer and no one cares. I'm super upset she's not going to be in Season 11 though, because of course that's what happens."
– Charlotte, email

"I find her so inspiring and such a badass. She's a role model for younger girls and boys."
harrietm4bc79670d

"Why did she have to leave so soon?!"
georgiap40209bbcb

Watch it on: BBC iPlayer (UK), BBC America (US)

BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Captain Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher) in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher) in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"This is a man who's endured years of discrimination for being a black gay cop, and he's using it to be a force for good in his precinct and in his community. He's given all of them advice on how to overcome adversity."
emilyadder

"What really does it for me is how this comedy show deals with issues around race/ethnicity, sexual identity, and gender. The characterisation of Holt just reiterates the struggles of being a black gay man rising up in the ranks of the NYPD and how defiance and hope allowed him to end up captaining a great squad who accept him."
Justisabel

Watch it on: Netflix (excluding US), FOX Now (US)

NBCUniversal Television Distribution / Via youtube.com

Josh (Josh Thomas) in Please Like Me

Josh (Josh Thomas) in Please Like Me

"[Please Like Me is] so funny and sincere, and represents the best and hardest aspects of coming out, looking for love, and trying to figure out what you want to do and who you want to be."
– Michael, Facebook

"Josh is, at times, stubborn, childish, and spiteful. Other times he is lovable, charming, and very insightful. The show does a wonderful job in its portrayals of mental illness and portrayals of real relationships."
– Jacob, Facebook

"The portrayal is so real and I can imagine a lot of people will relate to his experience."
megnas

Watch it on: Amazon Prime (UK), Hulu (US), ABC TV (Oz)

ABC / Pivot / Via Amazon Prime


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27 Annoying TV Plot Lines That Pissed Everyone Off

The World’s Most Famous Actor Whose Face You’ve Probably Never Seen

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When Doug Jones stepped into a quiet diner in the San Fernando Valley in mid-October, a handful of other patrons in the restaurant craned their heads to look at him. It's easy to understand why. At 6 feet 3 inches tall and 140 pounds, Jones' slender, sinewy frame and narrow, angular face make him look almost otherworldly — kind of like a living special effect.

Chances are high that the people in that diner thought they had never seen anyone like Jones before in their lives. But chances are almost as high that they have — possibly many times — and just never realized it.

That is because Jones is inconspicuously one of the most prolific working actors in Hollywood. He's approached Samuel L. Jackson levels of ubiquity, with over 150 credits spanning 30 years, including iconic performances in cult sensations like Hocus Pocus in 1993, Buffy the Vampire Slayer in 1999, Hellboy in 2004, and Pan's Labyrinth in 2006. This fall, he's enjoying two of the highest-profile roles of his career, in the CBS All Access series Star Trek: Discovery (which just streamed its midseason finale on Nov. 12) and the Guillermo del Toro feature film The Shape of Water (which won the top prize at the 2017 Venice Film Festival, and will open in theaters starting Dec. 1).

Brent Humphreys for BuzzFeed News / Styling by Jordan Grossman / Makeup by Mo Meinhart

And yet, in all of those projects, and many more like them, Jones hasn't shown his face, or any other part of his body. With the aid of elaborate latex and silicone masks, intricate costumes, and painstaking makeup, the 57-year-old has largely spent his career bringing to life a menagerie of aliens, demons, beasts, angels of death, and moon-headed fast-food pitchmen.

"It's been too many," Jones said of all the roles populating his IMDb profile with characteristic self-effacement. "I know, I know."

Jones is in high demand thanks to a distinctly idiosyncratic set of skills. "A creature performer needs to be a very odd combination of marathon runner and a mime, who can express himself through layers and layers of latex and acrylic and silicon," said del Toro, who has worked with Jones on six of his feature films. "It's a very, very rare discipline … [and] there are very, very few that are actual actors, in my opinion, that go beyond being able to work in a suit or under makeup. Doug is a proper actor. When you need that level of finesse, Doug is the only one I've met that I trust with that level of commitment and craftsmanship and artistry."

"I'm hired because I'm a tall, skinny guy — with other talents, I hope."

In person, Jones is voluble and friendly company, but he's not all that keen on preening over his one-of-a-kind professional success. "I'm hired because I'm a tall, skinny guy — with other talents, I hope," he said. "But the creature effects guys love to start with a skinny, long palette, because they can build on it and not make it too bulky." He shrugged off any suggestion that he's cracked the code for enduring multiple hours of makeup application each day — "I sit there, basically, or I stand there" — and he chalks up maintaining his strikingly lean physique to a "very boring" exercise routine of elliptical machines and light dumbbell lifting, and "the metabolism of a 16-year-old."

He is also remarkably candid about the sacrifices and setbacks he's endured building his remarkable and rarefied career. "It is isolating," he said. "I'm not always in the mood to talk and banter and joke around [on set], because I'm trying to survive the day in a different way than everyone else is." But Jones hasn't merely survived — he's thrived, by charting a rail-thin, serpentine path as an actor who's become an expert at obliterating his own appearance. Jones has also discovered, however, that his willingness to be unrecognizable in Hollywood has made it that much harder for Hollywood to recognize his singular talents.

Brian Byrd for BuzzFeed News

Stumbling through early success: Mac Tonight, Batman Returns, Hocus Pocus, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer

When Jones moved from Indiana to Los Angeles in 1985, his dream was to become a sitcom star. "I was a goofy fellow who related to Jerry Lewis and Dick Van Dyke and Gilligan's Island," he said. "I thought I would be one of them. I never set out to do costume work. I didn't know that was really a career option."

But there were two special skills on Jones' early résumé — a background in mime, and the ability to put his legs behind his head like a contortionist — that landed him auditions for physically driven gigs, like a Southwest Airlines commercial as a dancing mummy. "I was wrapped from head to toe in dirty bandages," Jones said with a wry smile, "boding of things to come."

In 1986, Jones booked a regional McDonald’s ad campaign aimed at driving more dinnertime business in California, as a character dubbed "Mac Tonight" in which he wore a shiny suit and a giant mask of a crooning crescent moon. "The ad agency later said that I had the right 'Love ya, babe' attitude to play like a cool-cat nightclub guy that sung about burgers," Jones said.

The ads were a hit, and the Mac Tonight campaign went national, and then global; Jones ended up shooting 27 ads over three years. "I bought my first condo with that," he said. "So that was a happy thing."

Jones as Mac Tonight for a McDonald's ad campaign, as one of the Gentlemen in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Billy Butcherson in Hocus Pocus.

McDonalds; 20th Century Fox; Buena Vista / Alamy / Via youtube.com youtube.com

Less happy was the fact that no one could see Jones' face, which meant, in the company's eyes, that he was expendable. "I never got [paid] above scale, and they wouldn't even hear any offers," Jones said. "Their argument was 'We can put anybody else in there.' It's a really tough place to be in, when you're trying to defend what you brought to the table and yet stay humble about it, because, you know, I don't think I'm all that."

Jones sighed. "It took me decades of keeping my representation onboard with, whenever they heard that rhetoric of 'Oh, we could just replace him with anybody' to try to alter the sales job to 'If you want to put your costume on a hanger, it's going to look pretty, but it has to move, it has to emote, so you really need an actor in there, not just a monkey,'" he said. "That's been the challenge, but I think we got there. Eventually, we got there."

"I never set out to do costume work. I didn't know that was really a career option."

The first major step on that road came almost by accident, when he was called in to demonstrate his extreme flexibility for the stunt coordinator of the 1992 blockbuster Batman Returns — and ended up also showing off his abilities to the film's director, Tim Burton. "I thought, oh, this sounds like it's a sight gag that will work a day or two," Jones said. "A half-hour later they come back in the room, and Tim says, 'Well, congratulations, you got the part.' And I was like, 'The part? There's a part?'"

Taken with Jones' beanpole stature, Burton cast him as the "Thin Clown," part of the gang of rogue circus performers led by the lead villain, the Penguin (Danny DeVito). Jones had barely any lines, but he ended up working for 14 weeks on the project, and shared many scenes with DeVito and Christopher Walken.

Batman Returns also led directly to Jones' audition for the 1993 Halloween family comedy Hocus Pocus, as the loose-limbed zombie Billy Butcherson. It was by far Jones' most prominent part to date — even if, again, it was largely silent and, again, his face was obscured with exaggerated makeup. The movie was also a flop (opening in July probably didn't help), but in the years since, it's become a generational touchstone, and Billy has become one of Jones' signature roles.

"Hocus Pocus is the one that people see that picture on my [autograph] table at a convention, and” — Jones exploded with a loud gasp, throwing his hand to his face — “'That's Billy! Was that you?!'" Jones smiled, almost sheepishly. "I understand this. If I met Ray Bolger from The Wizard of Oz, I would wet my pants."

Jones in makeup and costume from his upcoming film Nosferatu.

Brent Humphreys for BuzzFeed News / Hair and Makeup by Mo Meinhart and Tanner White

Throughout the ’90s, however, Jones remained in obscurity, bouncing between small, nameless roles that usually amounted to no more than a couple days of work. When Jones landed an audition for Buffy the Vampire Slayer in 1999, he didn't really expect it to be any different — once more, the role had no lines, and Jones hadn't been given a script. So when he stepped into the audition room, he was surprised to see executive producer Joss Whedon sitting among the other producers and the casting director. "We were given the instruction, 'Pretend there's someone lying in front of you, and you just step up quietly, smile as big and teethy as you can the entire time, and act like you are surgically cutting this person's heart out, and then hand the heart to someone in the room and smile about it,'" Jones recalled, before relaying his response with a deadpan smile: "'Oh, OK.'"

The audition was for the Season 4 episode "Hush," which turned out to be of the most beloved hours in the show's history. Jones was auditioning to play one of a terrifying coterie of demons called the Gentlemen who rob everyone of their voices in order to quietly steal their hearts. Jones learned later that the production had created masks that froze the character’s faces in a petrifying rictus grin. But Jones’ own evil grin in the audition won everyone over so much that not only did he get the part as one of the lead Gentlemen, the producers modified his character’s makeup to keep Jones’ natural smile.

"I was cheaper than a silicone dummy would have been to make."

"You know that thing when you're at a wedding and you're smiling for pictures over and over again, and you're [saying], 'I can't feel my face anymore'?" Jones said, pressing into his cheeks. "Well, we had that for like eight days in a row."

Jones’ performance, alongside a fellow Gentleman played by Camden Toy, proved so chillingly memorable that they started appearing in Buffy's opening credits. "We got residual checks on that, too," Jones said. "It was a huge honor for guest stars in one episode. And we also became action figures!"

That same year, Jones appeared in the war satire Three Kings, in a scene with George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, and Ice Cube. The role also required Jones to take on a cadaverous mien — because he was playing a dead Iraqi soldier lying in the desert.

"One split second," Jones said of his screen time, with a What can you do? grin. "I was cheaper than a silicone dummy would have been to make."

Big breaks and big setbacks: Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, and Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Jones first met Guillermo del Toro on the set of his 1997 horror thriller Mimic, playing, essentially, a giant cockroach. It was only for a few days of reshoots, but the actor still made an indelible impression on the filmmaker.

"He was the only guy handling the suits who was really, really preoccupied with imbuing these things with character," del Toro said.

Five years later, when del Toro was developing his adaptation of the beloved comic series Hellboy, he thought of Jones again. There was a crucial central character — an intelligent sea creature named Abe Sapien — who necessitated a full-body costume and elaborate facial makeup that took seven hours to apply before filming. For del Toro, there was practically no one but Jones who could do the job.

There was, however, one big catch: Del Toro told Jones up front that his vocal performance would likely be replaced by another, more well-known actor.

Jones as Abe Sapien in Hellboy, Silver Surfer in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and the Faun in Pan's Labyrinth.

Universal / Alamy; 20th Century Fox / Alamy; Photo 12 / Alamy

"I wilted at that news," Jones recalled. "I had the foresight to know that if I'm voiced over by somebody more famous than me, the thought [would be], Oh, okay, he must not be able to act. I was fighting that stigma. … It was a big deal and a big character, and now I'd have to explain that for the rest of my life."

Jones said he "begged" del Toro to reconsider, and they came to an agreement. "He said, 'Give us the voice that the character needs, and your name will be a part of all those names being considered for this,'" Jones recalled.

So that's what Jones did. "I felt like I was auditioning for the part I already got every day," he said. On set, Jones remembered getting a flood of positive feedback, including up to when he was brought in months later for the standard process of rerecording Abe's dialogue. "While I was on my lunch break that day, the sound engineer caught me in the hallway and said, 'Doug, I've got to tell you, I love the voice you're giving Abe,'" Jones recalled. "I drove home from that voice ADR session thinking, They need to look no further. We are done here."

"I had the foresight to know that if I'm voiced over by somebody more famous than me, the thought [would be], Oh, okay, he must not be able to act."

Two weeks later, del Toro called Jones to tell him that David Hyde Pierce would be performing the voice of Abe Sapien. Jones burst into tears.

"I'm not going to try to act like I was bigger than I am," he said. "I was crestfallen."

The way Jones explains it, the casting decision was driven by marketing — Pierce had just wrapped the final season of NBC's Frasier and was at the peak of his fame. Del Toro, however, said that he'd always had Pierce in mind. "I wrote the part thinking of David Hyde Pierce and how fastidious Niles was on Frasier," he said. "That was my entry point to Abe Sapien in the movies."

Regardless of the reason, Pierce ultimately declined to take a credit on the film "out of respect for Doug," said del Toro. The director even recalled Pierce saying during his recording session, "I want to try to sound like Doug."

"People don't do that," Jones said, still clearly touched 13 years later. "I never would have expected it or asked for that."

Unfortunately, Hellboy wasn't the last time he had to come to terms with a decision to dub over his voice.

For 2006's Pan's Labyrinth, though, Jones actually welcomed it. Del Toro had set his phantasmagoric fable about a young girl navigating a world of fauns, faeries, and demons in 1944 Franco-era fascist Spain, and kept the script in its native language.

"I read an English translation of the script, and so I got so lost in this beautiful story. By the time I closed the last page, I'm wiping tears away, going, 'Oh, glory be, of course I have to do this movie,'" Jones recalled. Del Toro had told Jones that he absolutely needed him to play the ancient faun who guides the girl on her journey, but once Jones realized that he would have to actually speak Spanish, he almost turned it down.

Brent Humphreys for BuzzFeed News

"The Faun gives paragraphs of expository speech," said Jones. "I told Guillermo, 'I'm going to ruin your movie with this language.'" Del Toro, however, would not be dissuaded. "He said, 'You can count to 10 for all I care, I'll dub over it later, but you've got to play the role,'" said Jones.

Instead, Jones learned the language well enough to deliver the dialogue with genuine meaning and inflection — and with the complete understanding that a Spanish actor would need to rerecord his lines. "That was okay, because the cadence and the whole performance was mine," Jones said.

That performance included walking on stilts that made Jones 7 feet tall, wearing a mask that reduced his vision to little more than a pinhole, and sharing a scene with an 11-year-old girl without somehow trampling her. After spending five hours every morning applying the costume, Jones had to remain in it all day; even resting between takes required special accommodation. Due to the character’s mechanized tail, Jones had to sit on a modified bicycle seat and lean forward on a special bar.

"I told Guillermo, 'I'm going to ruin your movie.'"


28 Gifts Based On Awesome Women To Give The Awesome Women In Your Life

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Wonderful gifts based on inspirational women (both real and fictional).

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

BuzzFeed

A Rosa Parks enamel pin to inspire them to stand up for what they believe in and fight injustice.

A Rosa Parks enamel pin to inspire them to stand up for what they believe in and fight injustice.

Get it from Wild Fang for $9.

wildfang.com

A game of Clue for playing through the darkest episode of The Golden Girls ever.

A game of Clue for playing through the darkest episode of The Golden Girls ever.

Just kidding! In this game you're trying to figure out who ate the last slice of cheesecake — no one gets murdered.

Promising review: "My best friend gave me this for my birthday because she knows me extremely well. I love that it's not a murder mystery like regular Clue; instead, you're looking for who ate the last piece of cheesecake. It's just such a funny switch! The game adds different obstacles that aren't in the regular Clue, but it made the game more fun." —Beks

Get it from Amazon for $37.67 (also check out the Monopoly version).

amazon.com

A deck of cards illustrated with badass ladies from history so your recipient can *play the woman card*.

A deck of cards illustrated with badass ladies from history so your recipient can *play the woman card*.

And *of course* Lucille Ball is the joker card.

Get it from Wild Fang for $15.

wildfang.com

A Selena graphic sweatshirt worth singing about.

A Selena graphic sweatshirt worth singing about.

Get it from Forever 21 for $24.90 (available in sizes S–L).

forever21.com

A keychain with a wise message from the true crime mavens of the podcast My Favorite Murder.

A keychain with a wise message from the true crime mavens of the podcast My Favorite Murder.

And stay out of the forest!

Get it from TheFive15 on Etsy for $12.61.

etsy.com

A Marie Curie magnet set for your most radiant friend.

A Marie Curie magnet set for your most radiant friend.

Get them from dearollie on Etsy for $18.

etsy.com

A soy candle inspired by the three female Supreme Court Justices: Elena Kagan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Sonia Sotomayor.

A soy candle inspired by the three female Supreme Court Justices: Elena Kagan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Sonia Sotomayor.

Get it from Wild Fang for $21.

wildfang.com

A pair of earrings of two comedy besties to give *your* bestie.

A pair of earrings of two comedy besties to give *your* bestie.

Get it from charm456 on Etsy for $9.

etsy.com

An I Love Lucy chocolate bar ornament for the sweetest person you know.

An I Love Lucy chocolate bar ornament for the sweetest person you know.

Get it from Modcloth for $15.

modcloth.com

A Malala enamel pin to give to someone brave and kind-hearted.

A Malala enamel pin to give to someone brave and kind-hearted.

Get it from sockie on Etsy for $9.

etsy.com

A pair of hair bun earmuffs so they can feel like a princess while staying warm.

A pair of hair bun earmuffs so they can feel like a princess while staying warm.

Get it from ThinkGeek for $19.99.

thinkgeek.com

A Jane Eyre tee for someone who's anything but flighty.

A Jane Eyre tee for someone who's anything but flighty.

Get it from LiteraryEmporium on Etsy for $20.69 (available in sizes S–XL).

etsy.com

A box filled with little treasures and trinkets related to everyone's favorite brainy witch, Hermione Granger.

A box filled with little treasures and trinkets related to everyone's favorite brainy witch, Hermione Granger.

It comes with a love potion, yule ball snowflake ornament, timetable, owl exam paper, Yule Ball poster, signed photo of Gilderoy Lockhart, and Hogwarts express tickets.

Promising review: "I was extremely satisfied with this purchase!! The snowflake ornament is actually metal instead of plastic or cardboard, and the love potion bottle appears to be part glass — it's much heavier than regular plastic. It's higher quality than I had expected. I am definitely interested in the other artefact boxes now!" —Taylor Anderson

Get it from Amazon for $37.50 or Barnes & Noble for $34.95.

barnesandnoble.com

A lovely mug sporting an inspirational quote from the famous suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst.

A lovely mug sporting an inspirational quote from the famous suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst.

Get it from teapleasecouk on Etsy for $13.59.

etsy.com

A Mitski band tee to give to your best American girl.

A Mitski band tee to give to your best American girl.

Give this to someone who's the breeze in your Austin nights.

Get it from Hello Merch for $20 (available in sizes XS–2XL).

hellomerch.com

A limited-edition notebook based on Phoebe Robinson and Ilana Glazer's YQY comedy tour.

A limited-edition notebook based on Phoebe Robinson and Ilana Glazer's YQY comedy tour.

Get it from Wild Fang for $7.50.

wildfang.com

A set of pencils engraved with inspirational quotes from Laverne Cox.

A set of pencils engraved with inspirational quotes from Laverne Cox.

Get it from FeministPencils on Etsy for $12.

etsy.com

A Wonder Woman robe so they can relax after a long day of crime fighting.

A Wonder Woman robe so they can relax after a long day of crime fighting.

Get it from Spencer's for $49.99 (available in sizes S/M or L/XL).

spencersonline.com

A laptop sleeve with Rihanna the Riveter on it for when they need to work, work, work, work, work.

A laptop sleeve with Rihanna the Riveter on it for when they need to work, work, work, work, work.

Get it from Nagore Rodriguez on Society6 for $27.74+ (available in two sizes).

society6.com

A pack of Frida Kahlo sticky notes they can use to jot down thoughts or create mini masterpiece doodles.

A pack of Frida Kahlo sticky notes they can use to jot down thoughts or create mini masterpiece doodles.

Promising review: "I can't tell you how surprised and happy I was when I came upon these. Not only is it something useful for art, but there are plenty of other uses for the different types of sticky-notes in this mini book. My father is one of Frida's greatest fans. : ) When he found this in his stocking, he was shocked and immediately asked where I got them." —Crochet Can You See

Get it from Amazon for $8.95.

amazon.com

A set of Beyonce stickers that are bey-ond incredible.

A set of Beyonce stickers that are bey-ond incredible.

Get it from bestieclub on Etsy for $8.56.

etsy.com

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer coloring book filled with memorable scenes from the show.

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer coloring book filled with memorable scenes from the show.

Promising review: "I bought this for a friend, but when it arrived I was personally very surprised at how high quality it was. The comic collector in me cringes slightly at the thought of someone coloring in this book! I'm sure my friend will have no problem with it though. She also loved that that the pictures also included quotes from the series on the opposite side." —Ayanami

Get it from Amazon for $9.77, Barnes & Noble for $10.21, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

barnesandnoble.com

A ringer tee featuring 90210's Brenda to give anyone who's still living in the '90s.

A ringer tee featuring 90210's Brenda to give anyone who's still living in the '90s.

Get it from Box Lunch for $23.12 (available in sizes XS–L).

boxlunch.com

A darling teacup and saucer with Louise Bourgeois's signature spirals.

A darling teacup and saucer with Louise Bourgeois's signature spirals.

Get it from the MoMA store for $34 (available in two colors).

store.moma.org

Do your holiday shopping with BuzzFeed. Check out all of our gift guides here!

Do your holiday shopping with BuzzFeed. Check out all of our gift guides here!

Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

Your Opinions On These 15 TV Couples Will Reveal Your Relationship Status

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TBH this is the hardest thing you will do all week.

28 Gifts That Are Practical...But Also Super Petty

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These gifts are ALL practically petty.

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

A set of mini vinyl coasters so cute your guests will actually notice their glasses have a place to sit, protecting your tables and countertops in style.

A set of mini vinyl coasters so cute your guests will actually notice their glasses have a place to sit, protecting your tables and countertops in style.

The set includes six coasters, which feature a rubber strip to keep them from slipping.

Promising Review: “These are super cute, from the vintage inspired box they come in, to the cute names of the songs on the records. I love the weight of them, and the size. They're just really fun, and people love them.” —Bean

Get them from Amazon for $9.99 or Walmart for $14.33.

amazon.com

A simple but effective Timex digital watch for anyone who could use a little help with arriving on time.

A simple but effective Timex digital watch for anyone who could use a little help with arriving on time.

Promising Review: “It was quick and easy to set up the watch's time and date upon arrival. It feels comfortable. And while I am slow in removing the watch, in avoidance of possibly tearing it apart, the watch has yet to strap onto my arm hairs and cause pain like the many other watches I've had. Therefore, I'd recommend this watch to those with hairy arms, too. It’s cheap, smooth, and worth the buy.” —Luis

Get it from Amazon for $29.25+ (available in three colors), Jet for $29.99, or Walmart for $30.55.

amazon.com

A gorgeous whiskey decanter set which'll dress up your next house party. Because whiskey from the liquor bottle isn’t as badass.

A gorgeous whiskey decanter set which'll dress up your next house party. Because whiskey from the liquor bottle isn’t as badass.

The seven-piece set includes a whiskey decanter and six glasses. Both the decanter and glasses are dishwasher-safe.

Promising Review: “I bought this for a Dirty Santa game with friends. The look on everyone’s faces when it was opened was purely priceless. No one could believe I attained such a nice set for the price limits we had set. There was some fighting over this one, I’ll tell you that. Then I hear, it’s still in use today.” —Johnathon

Get the seven-piece set from Amazon for $18.95.

amazon.com

A set of affirmation cards to keep even your laziest friend motivated to complete at least one meaningful task each day.

A set of affirmation cards to keep even your laziest friend motivated to complete at least one meaningful task each day.

The 50-card set features some whimsical and fun affirmations to bring joy to the life of anyone who reads them.

Promising Review: “I love this. My sister gave them to me for Christmas. They're the perfect blend of deep and humorous. I like them so much!” —GlaNee

Get them from Amazon for $12.51.

amazon.com

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer box set that'll school your crew on one of the originators of the slay.

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer box set that'll school your crew on one of the originators of the slay.

I know your besties think they are the baddest. But Buffy will remind them of what TRUE fierceness is. The DVD set includes all seven seasons of the hit show, an official Buffy Dark Horse collectible comic book, and a coloring sheet.

Get it from Barnes & Noble for $147.94 or Walmart for $129.99.

bit.ly

An extraordinarily cool Marshall bar fridge perfect for amping up a game room, dorm room, or really any room that needs a little touch of amazingness.

An extraordinarily cool Marshall bar fridge perfect for amping up a game room, dorm room, or really any room that needs a little touch of amazingness.

Hopefully the fridge will motivate your significant other, roommate, or best friend to FINALLY toss that gross mini fridge we ALL know you hate.

Promising Review: “This fridge has been a great addition to my rock bar. I love that people come in thinking I have a real Marshall amp, only to have me open the door and hand them a beer. I have had it for three years with no issues at all.” —Dave Rich

Get it from Amazon for $344.99+ (available in two sizes), Jet for $429.99, or Walmart for $429.

amazon.com

A Tooletries case so you can secure your sweetie's toiletries, avoiding the leaking shampoo bath your suitcase received on your last couple's getaway.

A Tooletries case so you can secure your sweetie's toiletries, avoiding the leaking shampoo bath your suitcase received on your last couple's getaway.

The silicone bag is leak-resistant and very easy to clean off. So no more surprises in your suitcase once you two reach your destination.

Promising Review: “This bag is the best! It's waterproof and very strong. I’d recommend buying this bag!” —Jay

Get it from Amazon for $19.43+ (available in five colors) or Walmart for $29.99.

amazon.com

A darling set of ribbed glasses if you refuse to take another sip of ANY beverage out of your bestie’s infinite collection of plastic cups.

A darling set of ribbed glasses if you refuse to take another sip of ANY beverage out of your bestie’s infinite collection of plastic cups.

The set of four glasses is dishwasher-safe but not microwave-safe.

Get them from West Elm for $7.99 (available in four colors).

westelm.com

A Foundmi Wonder Woman tracker that can be attached to the phone, keyring, or even slipped into the wallet of the most forgetful person you know this side of Themyscira.

A Foundmi Wonder Woman tracker that can be attached to the phone, keyring, or even slipped into the wallet of the most forgetful person you know this side of Themyscira.

The tracker will help ensure no more time is wasted looking for misplaced belongings. The tracker, which allows you to reverse-track your belongings, features a 95-decibel speaker and replaceable battery. It can also be integrated with your Amazon Alexa. And it includes a selfie mode, that’ll let you use the tracker as a remote shutter for your phone’s camera.

Get it from Target for $20 (also available in Superman and Batman).

target.com

An I Dew Care Mask kit so folks will stop feeling the need to borrow your sheet masks without asking.

An I Dew Care Mask kit so folks will stop feeling the need to borrow your sheet masks without asking.

The 14-mask kit is a two-week regimen of hydrating and brightening sheet masks. The masks in the kit work to correct specific skin concerns, keeping your face looking healthy and moisturized.

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $25.

bit.ly

A pretty Disney wall calendar you can mark your birthday on before giving it away. This way, the recipient will have no excuse for forgetting your B-Day ever again — at least this year.

A pretty Disney wall calendar you can mark your birthday on before giving it away. This way, the recipient will have no excuse for forgetting your B-Day ever again — at least this year.

Every month features a full-color Thomas Kinkade image.

Promising Review: “I love this calendar it! It’s exactly what I expected, and the artwork is gorgeous. It’s definitely worth the price and makes a great gift for kids and adults.” —Sarah

Get it from Amazon for $9.55, Jet for $9.55, or Walmart for $10.24.

amazon.com

A sleek bracelet flask that’ll make it just a little easier to sneak a little drinky-drink into your crew’s next concert or festival outing.

A sleek bracelet flask that’ll make it just a little easier to sneak a little drinky-drink into your crew’s next concert or festival outing.

No more fights over who’ll attempt to hide the airplane bottles for the group. Everyone can be responsible for their own libations. #CrisisAvoided

Promising Review: “This bangle is stylish, fun to wear, and utilitarian! What could be better?! Rose gold is my absolute fave and this compliments so many pieces I already wear. The volume of the flask is as listed, 4oz, which is about half of a typical, hand-held flask. I can’t wait to rock this out at my summer music festivals!” —Vicki Jones

Get it from Amazon for $24.02 (available in five colors).

amazon.com

A set of Pyrex containers to end the mismatch madness happening inside your kitchen cabinet.

A set of Pyrex containers to end the mismatch madness happening inside your kitchen cabinet.

The battle to find the right top for your storage containers ends TODAY.

The 18-piece set is microwave-, dishwasher-, and freezer-safe. It includes one 1-cup round, one 6-cup rectangle, one 7-cup round, two 2-cup rounds, two 4-cup rounds, and two 3-cup rectangles. Lids included for each dish.

Get it from Amazon for $25.

amazon.com

A sleek set of Sonos PLAY:1 speakers if you feel the need for an upgrade from the worn-out bluetooth speaker you purchased years ago.

A sleek set of Sonos PLAY:1 speakers if you feel the need for an upgrade from the worn-out bluetooth speaker you purchased years ago.

The Sonos Play:1 speakers are compact and allow you to play different songs in different rooms at the same time. They allow you to stream music from services like Amazon Music, Pandora, Apple Music, and Spotify. And you can pair the speakers over Wi-Fi for an amazing surround-sound experience.

Promising Review: "Right now, we use a pair of PLAY:1’s in my wife's sewing room, a single PLAY:1 in our bedroom and living room, and a PLAY:3 in our family room. They all sound great with our music collection, Spotify, or Pandora.” —Troy

Get them from Amazon for $147.50 each (available in two colors) or a set of two from Sonos for $298 (available in two colors).

amazon.com

A Drink Laugh Paint kit so a night-in with your friends won’t be fun only when they come to YOUR house.

A Drink Laugh Paint kit so a night-in with your friends won’t be fun only when they come to YOUR house.

The spiral-bound book will give the struggling party planner in your group all the information to host the perfect painting get-together. It features step-by-step instructions to bring eight beautiful paintings to life. The kit also includes a list of necessary materials, drink and party theme suggestions, an easel, and postcard invitations.

Get it from Amazon for $20.39, Barnes & Noble for $21.18, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

amazon.com

A Nifty journal to bring the gift of organization into the lives of everyone who needs to get their ish together.

A Nifty journal to bring the gift of organization into the lives of everyone who needs to get their ish together.

The journal features sections for daily gratitude, reflection, and goal setting combined with 30-minute scheduling to keep you on track.

Get it from BuzzFeed's Nifty shop for $22.95 (available in three styles).

PSST!...BuzzFeed makes money when you buy this.

goo.gl

bucketfeet.com

A personalized copy of My Golden Ticket that’ll force your book-hatting bestie to give a fiction title a try — especially since it’s about THEM taking a trip to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

A personalized copy of My Golden Ticket that’ll force your book-hatting bestie to give a fiction title a try — especially since it’s about THEM taking a trip to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

The details of each book are personalized by the recipient's name, leading to an exciting journey as they explore Willy Wonka’s factory with each flip of the page.

Get it from Wonerbly for $29.99+ (available in hardcover and softcover).

wonderbly.com

A wood and glass bar cart so your fave music lover can have a chic spot to store their record player and collection of vinyls — which is a lot cuter than the crate they may currently call home.

A wood and glass bar cart so your fave music lover can have a chic spot to store their record player and collection of vinyls — which is a lot cuter than the crate they may currently call home.

The cart can also be used to help your other half or roomies clear the wine and liquor bottles off the kitchen counter, giving them a elegant storage spot.

Promising Review: “I am beyond impressed with this bar cart. It looks just as good, or even better, than the many, much more expensive gold bar carts out there. It is very sturdy, the wheels move smoothly, and it is simply stunning to look at. It’s a very good value. I am so glad I purchased it.” —Smorecny

Get it from Target for $89.99.

target.com

A Link AKC Smart Dog Collar for that person in your life who's continually searching for their runaway pup — or just wants to keep close watch over their dog at all times.

A Link AKC Smart Dog Collar for that person in your life who's continually searching for their runaway pup — or just wants to keep close watch over their dog at all times.

The Link AKC collar allows you to track a lost dog with GPS, monitor your pup’s activity, log vet records, and even receive ambient temperature alerts. The caller can also be connected to the Link AKC app, so you can remain updated on important info regarding your pup.

Promising Review: “I took a chance on this collar a few months ago, mostly for the GPS and location alerts because I wanted to keep up with my dog walker. And I'm so glad I did! Not only do I know when my dog leaves for his walk every day, but I see how much activity he's getting during those walks. I feel so much better knowing that if he ever ran away for some reason, I'd be able to track him down with no issue.” —RoyBoy

Get it from Bed Bath & Beyond for $99 (available in five sizes).

bedbathandbeyond.com

A copy of Keep It Shut, which is packed with helpful communication tools and advice that your most outspoken friend will probably still ignore.

A copy of Keep It Shut, which is packed with helpful communication tools and advice that your most outspoken friend will probably still ignore.

You can at least say you tried.

Promising Review: “This book is so awesome! It really hit home with me and my big mouth! I felt Karen had been around when I opened my mouth before and was talking to me personally. You will love this book. It’s an easy read, and you will not be able to put it down.” —Jane H. Dean

Get it from Amazon for $9.99+, Barnes & Noble for $9.99+, or a local bookseller through IndieBound here.

amazon.com

An iRobot Roomba 690 vacuum to do the sweeping you know you aren't going to. #NoJudgement

An iRobot Roomba 690 vacuum to do the sweeping you know you aren't going to. #NoJudgement

The Roomba 690 is wifi-connected and features a three-stage cleaning system and multiple brushes. You can also connect it to the iRobot HOME app, which allows you to schedule cleaning jobs, receive status notifications, and access customer support from your smartphone.

Promising Review: “I live alone in a wheelchair, and this product does better than the lady that cleans up for me. She’s fired!” —Rocky

Get it from iRobot for $374.99.

store.irobot.com

A Loupedeck photo editing console so your favorite photog can possibly get those snaps of you finished just a little faster.

A Loupedeck photo editing console so your favorite photog can possibly get those snaps of you finished just a little faster.

The Loupedeck works with Adobe Photoshop Lightroom 6 or Adobe Photoshop CC, with it featuring dials and wheels for specific editing tasks. It includes controls for adjusting photo details like exposure, clarity, image ratings, contrast, and tint. You can also program preset buttons to fit your editing needs. It connects to your computer using a USB 2.0 interface, and replaces both your standard keyboard and mouse. Check out a Loupedeck tutorial on YouTube here.

Promising Review: “I have been using this product for several months with Lightroom Classic CC and have edited in excess of 2500 photos with it. So far, it has worked very well. I have had a few minor issues, that I believe were likely the fault of Lightroom being buggy and not the Loupedeck. That said, anytime I have contacted Loupedeck support, they have always returned my request in less than 24 hrs and have successfully put me back to work. As for the operation, I have found the dials and wheels to work as expected and to be a welcome replacement for the mouse pick on slider routine. The controls on the Loupedeck allow for very precise control of the adjustment sliders. I would recommend this product to anyone that spends a lot of time sorting and editing photos in Lightroom Classic CC.” —Mark

Get it from B&H Photo for $299.

youtube.com

A Basic Outfitters Create-A-Drawer box — packed with high-quality basics of your choice — to take your sweetie's tattered undies and tees out of commission.

A Basic Outfitters Create-A-Drawer box — packed with high-quality basics of your choice — to take your sweetie's tattered undies and tees out of commission.

Your hand-picked collection can include up to 19 pieces, with the option of choosing stylish socks, underwear, tees, and joggers.

Get a Create-A-Drawer box for $60.

basicoutfitters.com

An epic set of cooking utensils that'll outfit the kitchen in a new apartment or home with coordinating tools that won’t look basic.

An epic set of cooking utensils that'll outfit the kitchen in a new apartment or home with coordinating tools that won’t look basic.

So go ahead and leave those melted spoons and spatulas on the curb.

The 19-piece set includes kitchen must-haves like a lemon press, six-sided grater, single peeler, whisk, silicone and beechwood spatula, and stainless-steel tongs and measuring cups. The stainless-steel items and lemon press are dishwasher-safe. But you should hand-wash the beechwood items.

Get them from Williams Sonoma for $195.

williams-sonoma.com

An NPR Wine Club subscription so your resident wine aficionado — who somehow just discovered the magnificence that is NPR — can discover some tasty new wines while supporting the greatness that is public radio.

An NPR Wine Club subscription so your resident wine aficionado — who somehow just discovered the magnificence that is NPR — can discover some tasty new wines while supporting the greatness that is public radio.

As part of the NPR Wine Club, you’ll receive 12 new wines every three months. Each shipment will include tasting notes that detail the stories of winemakers, the different grape varieties and wine styles they specialize in, and the regions where they live. You can also customize your selections, so you’ll only receive wines you’re actually interested in trying out.

Get a subscription for $79.99 (available in a reds dozen, whites dozen, or mixed dozen).

bit.ly

And a Canon EOS Rebel T6 DSLR camera kit to seriously upgrade image quality and put their throwback digital camera to rest.

And a Canon EOS Rebel T6 DSLR camera kit to seriously upgrade image quality and put their throwback digital camera to rest.

The kit includes an 18-55mm EF-S f lens and 58mm wide angle lens, a 2x telephoto Lens, flash, 48GB SD memory card, UV filter kit. tripod, and full accessories bundle.

Promising Review: “We love this camera. I bought it for my wife. And after a couple days of learning how to use it, she was taking professional-quality photos. The camera is easy to use and comes with everything you need to get started. The bundle package is a good deal!” —Steven

Get it from Amazon for $469 or Jet for $450.54.

amazon.com

You're gifting petty with a purpose. And there's nothing wrong with that.

You're gifting petty with a purpose. And there's nothing wrong with that.

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

Nickelodeon / Giphy / Via giphy.com

Do your holiday shopping with BuzzFeed. Check out all of our gift guides here!

Do your holiday shopping with BuzzFeed. Check out all of our gift guides here!

Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

Here’s What Your Favorite '00s TV Stars Look Like Now

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We feel so old now!

Valerie Macon / AFP / Getty Images

Peter Kramer / Amanda Edwards / Michael Loccisano / Matt Winkelmeyer / Getty Images

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Brenda Chase / Getty Images

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Chris Weeks / Getty Images

Andrew Kent / Getty Images

Scott Gries / Getty Images

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Amanda Edwards / Getty Images

Getty Images

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Amanda Edwards / Getty Images

Diane Freed / Getty Images

Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

Vince Bucci / Getty Images

Stephen Shugerman / Getty Images

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Frederick Brown / Getty Images

This “Yes Or No” Quiz Will Reveal Which TV High School You Should Attend

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Time to travel back to high school.

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